Upon boarding a train from Rome to Florence, we spied a wonderful, wonderful woman. She was, ahem, a very large lady and was wearing some not-large-enough stretch pants, a blouse decorated with loudly colored cartoon characters, bright red Sally Jesse Raphael-esque eyeglasses and pink and blond-ish hair that was half pulled up into a wild ponytail. She also sported an ample of amount of makeup and was escorted by her multiple pieces of fluorescent pink luggage. Upon my deathbed, I know that it will be one of my life's greatest disappointments that I was not able to get a photo of her.
Despite the fact that the train was completely full, the ride was eerily silent. So much so, that Zach and I, seated across from each other, whispered to talk to one another so as not to disturb our fellow passengers (and you know how hard it is for him to whisper).
The only thing to break up the silence on the crowded train was our heroine and her cell phone. Fortunately for everyone on board, she did not speak softly.
Below is a rough transcript of her conversation (thanks to Maegan and her interpreting skills):
Hello?
Hello?!
Who is this?
Oh, yes, I saw your profile.
I'm on a train.
I'M ON A TRAIN. I'm going to visit my daughter.
So, what do you do for work?
You work in an office?
Oh, you sound like someone I would like to get to know.
Well, maybe I could meet you, but I need a close-up picture so I can see if you are beautiful.
I know, but the picture on your profile was from far away. I need a close-up one so I can see if you are beautiful.
You should give me your phone number so I can call you.
*Pause*
Hello? What is your phone number?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?????
.
4 comments:
I think QVC's Quacker Factory has just found its new Italian spokeswoman!
Based on her size and fasion sense I would have thought she was an american...lovely to have a surprise every once and a while.
Miranda, you are great. I am glad that I am not the only one who listens to other people's conversations. However, I have never listened to another one in a different language. You are definitely one up on me. As for your comment about flooding the Willowbrook guys apartment. Of course I was in on it. We were awesome!! It is much cooler when it happens in someone else's kitchen though. Oh well, I guess it was time for payback.
It's funny to listen to other people's one-sided cell phone conversations. Justin's biggest pet peeve is that I listen to his conversations and then base judgments on what I hear--usually I'm way off!
By the way, I've read The Glass Castle. I loved it, even though it was pretty disturbing in a non-emotional way.
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