Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Overheard: I thought I heard the same thing from Cousin Eddie

Very sweet, heavily Southern-accented sales girl in the fabric section of an unnamed big box retailer: Oh my gosh! When’s your baby due?

Me: Next month.

VSHSASGFSUBBR: I thought it was soon. You look so funny with your big ol’ belly pokin’ out from your iddybiddy body.

Me: Uh, thanks.

VSHSASGFSUBBR: My friend just had a baby last week. It was backwards and the doctors had to pull real’ hard on the legs but it finally came out. Legs first.

Me: Wow. That sounds terrible.

VSHSASGFSUBBR: It ended up bein’ fine. When I had my daughter, I broke all the blood vessels in my face because I pushed so hard.

Me: Oh, that’s awful.

VSHSASGFSUBBR: It was OK. But my mama had a real easy labor with me. She just walked out on the front porch and I slipped right out! She didn’t feel nothin’. I just slipped out and fell right on my head.

Me: Wow. That sounds like an easy labor. I hope that happens to me.

VSHSASGFSUBBR: ‘Cept I got a skull fracture. From fallin’ on my head.

Me: Oh, I’m sorry. How scary.

VSHSASGFSUBBR: I was all right, though. But--(* leans across fabric counter, points to forehead *) look: I have a dent. My head never did look right.


.

8 comments:

Teri and Mark said...

Why do you always have the coolest experiences with salespeople? I need to shop with you more often!!

Amanda said...

I was laughing out loud on that one. I am pretty sure I can picture the look on your face.

The Miller Family said...

Just another great representation of the South. ugh.

Courtney and Jeff said...

hahaha That's awesome! You can't help but laugh outloud on this... You should have said a smart ass comment back to her!

Maegan said...

hahahahaha that's fucking awesome!

katie said...

This is the best conversation I've ever heard.

Cichelli said...

In Utah?!

Jamie said...

You are making it up! That did not seriously happen and if so you have an obligation to me and the rest of society to tell us where this was so we too can experience it! This definitely made my weekend!